


We're Overdue

by BookishTea



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Attempt at Humor, Drunken Confessions, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internal Conflict, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Sexual Tension, Swearing, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:28:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookishTea/pseuds/BookishTea
Summary: When Eric dragged himself to college, he expected student loan debts, shit food, and sleepless nights. Not for his path to cross with someone he never thought he'd see again.





	1. Colorado Wasn't Built In A Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, long time no write in this fandom, haha. This fic is in the same 'universe' as _The Broflovski-Cartmans_ , but don't worry you can read this without having read that. I want to apologize and thank all of those who've been patiently waiting for my other fics to update. I just wanted to say I will be continuing them, and that this fic was just another way to get my feel for writing these characters again.  
> Enough of my ramblings, I hope you like the next chapters I do for this story.
> 
> \- Claire(BookishTea) xx

That day's morning had been calmer than most. While the sky was grey and clouded over, the rain that fell, admittedly cold to the touch, pattered the streets and their buildings in a steady but relaxing tempo. The soothing quality of which, was lost on the likes of Eric Cartman. Who, instead of enjoying the sweet and cool air, was stuck spending his time inside. 

His gasp cut through the silence, fighting to choke out the words, "Fuck me!" Squinting against the sweat falling into his eyes, he leaned forward, and pressed his red face into his arms. 

"Don't make me act on that, dude." 

Eric groaned, lifting his head up to glare at Kenny and his stupid waggling eyebrows. "Can you shut the fuck up?"

"You know I could totally leave you here by yourself, right?" 

The thought of his free manual labourer leaving made Eric's grimace falter, and stiffly he rubbed the back of his hand across his brow. Not quite meeting the other's eye, Eric mumbled, "Don't be an asshole, you know I didn't mean it."

The pretense of anger that had been directed at him, suddenly dropped from Kenny's face, and revealed his friend's shit eating grin. "Yeah, I know. I just like busting your balls." 

Exasperated, but ever fond, Eric mumbled "Asshole" under his breath, and adjusted his stance once more. "Whatever, just help me finish this."

Back to their friendly terms, they continued to carry the mattress up the flight of stairs. It wasn't as if it was particularly heavy, just awkward to handle in the narrow and twisting corridors. That, and some idiot had left the temperature on the highest setting, and yes, it was winter - but both young men were used to the cold, and found the adjustment unnecessary.

After another flight of grunting and curses, they managed to haul the piece of shit to Eric's room. The door was held open with a giant rock placed on a milk crate, and they struggled to work past it but eventually they succeeded. 

The flat was tiny, but that was okay for now - it wasn't as if Eric could cough up the extra dough for a bigger place, and Kenny was nice enough to help him move in. What few items that filled his home were either a gift from his mother, or bought at a thrift store. It didn't matter to him if everything matched, he just needed something to sit on to eat and play Xbox. Speaking of which...

"Hey," he said after the mattress was leaning against a wall, "want to help me set up the TV? We can play a session of Call of Duty?"

"Nah, man. I have stuff to do."

Eric rose a brow, "What shit could you possibly have to do?"

"Date night."

"Ugh!" Eric rolled his eyes, "I swear that bitch has you whipped." He held a hand up when Kenny opened his mouth, "And no, I don't need to know how hot you think that is."

"Whatever, I'll come hang out with you tomorrow. Bye, dude." Kenny gave his shoulder a pat on the way out, leaving Eric to stand in the room. He sighed as soon as he heard the scrapping on the floor, front door finally closed. The silence stretched out, reminding Eric how utterly alone he was in the world. To distract himself, he set to work on setting his 'bachelor pad' up. The sound of the city and all its car honking filling the space, he grabbed the tools Kenny had lent him and sat down on the ground. He may be a fuck up, but at least he knew how to put his bed frame together.

He never thought he'd get here, starting college in a couple of days. Sure, he was a little slow to enrol, taking a semester off, but he was here now. Maybe he did it to escape that shitty town, to reconnect with other people that wasn't spending his days online, screaming at fellow players. God, he missed the poor kid already. 

Kenny was the only one from his childhood friends that kept in touch with him. Stan was busy doing whatever environment majors did. Butters was decent enough, they chatted, but he didn't hang out with him like Kenny did. Kyle... His brows furrowed. As soon as they graduated from high school, he left. Not another word, he didn't respond to any of Eric's texts, not even to the ones meant to rile him up. It was only two months after that Eric found out that he changed his number, something he didn't feel like sharing.

Kyle might as well be dead at this point, and Eric didn't care. That Jew bastard thought he was too good for them... For him, working on some bullshit undergraduate degree. As far as Eric was concerned, he could rot in hell for all he cared.

And yet, absently Eric couldn't help but wonder what Kyle would think once he knew that Eric was attending the same university, and that he'd done it without cheating his way in. Okay, he didn't cheat _too_ much. At least that was better than having some rich lawyer daddy paying his way in. He could always hold that over his head.

Eric cursed, dropping the screwdriver to the ground. Fuck, he always got so pissed off when he thought of that jerk. He let out a grunt as he climbed to his feet, leaving the room to enter the kitchen. Snatching his pack of cigarettes from the counter, he put a stick in his mouth, annoyed when he noticed that the lighter wasn't on the counter as well. Frowning, he thought about it for a second, and then reached into his jean's back pocket, finding it there. He made quick work of lighting it up, inhaling deeply. Smoke escaping from his lips, he pulled the window above the sink open, letting in the chill of the morning. Eric leaned against it, crossing one of his arms as he spoke.

"I wonder," he exhaled, "what that Jew is doing?"

* * *

 

Kyle sighed, attempting to squash his anger down. "But you promised."

"Things change, sweetness."

"I understand that, but I really wanted to go."

His boyfriend stopped buttoning his shirt up, staring at Kyle through the mirror. "You can still go to that party, no one is stopping you."

"That's not the point. It's supposed to be our anniversary, we should be going out and having fun."

Oliver's gaze locked onto his, light brown eyes, he'd fallen in love with studying him. "It's not like we won't be together, Kyle. I just have shift work, you know how hectic my schedule is. They put first year medical students through the wringer."

"I know..."

His boyfriend turned around, strolling over to the bed Kyle was sitting on. "We can go to that restaurant you like the next day, it won't be the end of the world." Oliver leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Straightening, he added on, "I'll talk to you later after my meeting. Don't worry about dinner, I'll pick something up on my way back." 

They spent the next five minutes in silence, with Kyle pointedly reading his textbook while Oliver finished getting dressed and left. They didn't bother saying goodbye to one another. As soon as he heard the front door to the flat close, Kyle frowned, and he lowered his book.

He knew things were going to be difficult, that was the problem with dating someone older than you, a person who never seemed to have enough time for his miserable boyfriend. Deep down Kyle knew he was being unfair, Oliver couldn't help the workload his professors gave him - but things like this kept building up. They never yelled at each other, calm Oliver wasn't the type for that. It wasn't proper. _Moses_.

Groaning, Kyle rubbed at his eyes. For once he wanted them to have a night to themselves, to _do_ something together. Anything! He'd even settle with going to some crappy diner, just so long as he wasn't... Wasn't lonely anymore. "Shit," he muttered, tossing his book to the side of the bed. He needed some fresh air. Wallet tucked into his pocket, he donned a jacket and slipped his shoes on, making sure to lock the apartment when he went out. The apartment's hallways were empty, which suited him fine. He wasn't up for talking anyway.

 

 

Eric flicked what remained of his cigarette into the sink, and turned it on. He watched as the water destroyed it, eventually forcing it down the drain. Turning the sink's knob, Eric went back to the bedroom, spending half an hour making his bed frame and then dragged the mattress over, hefting it on. Panting, he admired his work, wiping his hands on his jeans. Now, which one of these boxes had the linens in it?

"Fuck that." He plopped down onto the mattress, groaning at the familiar sensation. On his ceiling there was a strange stain, one that Eric found himself studying for a while. Was it mold? Water damage, or something like blood? Sighing, he turned on his side, listening to the rain outside. Restless sleep came easy that way, hold complete when his breathing slowed down and his eyes remained closed. 

 


	2. Press Start

There was several texts and missed calls waiting for Eric when he woke up, predictably they were mostly from his mother. He deleted those. And a few were from Kenny, which he seemed to have been drunk when he sent them. Squinting against the morning sunlight, Eric dragged himself up into a sitting position, brushing hair from his eyes.

Quickly he shot a response back, leaving his phone on his bed while he took a shower. By the time he found the box containing his clothes, Kenny had replied.

**Eric**

| Date night went well? _8:30 am_

 **Kenny** _  
_

| dude I can't remember. got the worst hangover.  _8:36 am_

He snorted, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. Absently he sent another message, scrolling through their past messages as he waited.

**Eric**

| Wanna grab a cup of coffee?  _8:37 am_

His cell pinged. 

**Kenny**

| yeah why not. there's this cafe we can go to, i'll send u the address.  _8:37 am_

He tossed the towel onto the back of the bathroom door, letting it hang as he dressed. Grabbing his wallet from a top of the box in the bedroom, he put it in his jacket's pocket, and snatched his keys from the hook. Opening the front door Eric took a step out into the hallway, tossing one last look into his messy flat. Firmly he closed and locked the door behind him.

* * *

 

Standing alone in his kitchen, Kyle stirred the pot of oatmeal on the stove top. It was nearly the right thickness, but he sighed all the same. Cell phone on the counter it shuffled his morning playlist, music drifting softly throughout the room. It should have been a serene scene, something Kyle was unable to be at this moment. The sound of feet padding on the cool tiles reached his ears, and soon a body was leaning against him, light kiss to his neck. He rolled his eyes, fondness outweighed by his frustration. Today was meant to be happy, but already he couldn't ignore how the rest of his day would follow.

"You're still not mad are you?"

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, brows furrowing. "What do you think?" Oliver sighed, warm plume of air having Kyle's skin rise with goosebumps. 

"Look, can we not do this now? I don't want my day starting off badly. Is that too much to ask?"  _So he didn't mind his boyfriend's day being shitty?_

Kyle muttered "Whatever." Eyes pointedly fixed on their breakfast. Having a relationship meant compromise, giving and taking. He'd done the giving for both parties... Was it so hard to have one night together? To follow through with the plans that they had planned? Not to suddenly change everything last minute, and without discussing it...?

"Kyle..."

He shot a glare over his shoulder, " _Oliver._ "

His boyfriend stepped back, finally frowning as well. "You're acting ridiculous." _Ridiculous?_ Kyle turned the stove off, sliding the pot to a cool element. 

"What" he started as he took a pair of bowls from a cupboard, "is so 'ridiculous' about having feelings?" He set them on the counter a little harder than necessary, "Go on. Tell me."

"You're making this into a bigger deal than it is. I can't make it tonight, I told you why. What more do you want from me?"

Kyle spun around, "I want a partner. Someone I can celebrate things with, instead of..." He bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. 

"Kyle," Oliver took a step forward, fingers searching him out. Clasping onto his shoulders, he pulled him close. "I'm sorry you've been feeling this way. I care for you, I really do. I hope you haven't been doubting that, but things have been tough right now. You know that."

"Yeah..."

"Tonight I can't be there for you, even if I wanted to - and trust me, I really do. And I'll make up for that disappointment, okay?" Kyle's head shifted, eyes staring at the ticking clock on the wall. "Kyle..?"

"Okay." He mumbled. There was a sour taste to his mouth even when Oliver placed an apologetic kiss on his lips. Maybe he was being inconsiderate and selfish, but he couldn't get rid of this bitter feeling. It was going to swallow him whole if he wasn't careful.

"You know I love you, right?"

He exhaled, "Yes."

"Good. We'll talk more about this later. I won't be home until late." _Great..._ "And Kyle...?"

His eyes met Oliver's, still frowning. "What?" His boyfriend flashed him a smile.

"I love you." All of the air left his lungs in a massive sigh.

"...I love you too."

* * *

 

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"No problem" Eric said with a sniff, leaning back in his chair. A grin worked its way onto his face, "I'm glad I could point out the obvious." Kenny grunted, taking another sip from his coffee. They were currently seated at that cafe, table against the window, it was a perfect filler for their conversation - making snide comments about people walking by, okay it was mostly Eric doing it, but it was still funny for the both of them.

Jazz music was playing in the background, mingled together with the noise of coffee being brewed and other customers talking amongst themselves. Eric took another sugar cube and dropped it into his mug, watching it dissolve as he stirred.

"How was your first night?"

He shrugged, "It was okay. Nice to not have to listen to my mom in the other room."

Kenny perked up from his position, raising his head from his elbows "Speaking of-"

"No."

"But-"

" _No_." Eric grunted, "I left that shithole town for a reason. Same as you..."

Kenny corrected him with a hum, "Same as everyone. I don't know a single person who didn't want to leave." After that silence grew between them, although not thick and unpleasant. It held a cozy edge to it, which always seemed to arise when the two were together. It set Eric at ease, something he needed desperately at times like these. He always felt misplaced, like he was missing something... he didn't know what _that_ was, but he hoped he eventually would. 

He found himself once more staring out onto the busy street, watching as people trudged along. This was definitely a change, South Park had never been busy in any sense of the word. It would take some time getting used to, this city was... it was different. "Hipsters." He said with a sniff, he'd seen more man-buns and 'vintage' record stores than he would ever like.

Kenny looked over his shoulder, "It's not too bad. If you want to see hipster central-"

"I don't." Eric cut off tensely.

"Dude," Kenny leaned forward "just hear me out. There's this guy that throws these daily parties, there's a lot of hipsters but..."

"But...? Why would you think of trying to pitch some weirdo's attempt at being popular? If I wanted to hang out with a bunch of losers I would call up Stan and Butters."

The blonde across from him waved off his apprehension, "It's not like that... Okay, there's a couple of douche-bags there, but the music and food is actually really cool. There's one tonight, and I was thinking of going."

"Absolutely not." He avoided the pleading look directed at him. The last thing he wanted to do was get shoved at, and try to ignore two horny bastards making out right next to you. Not exactly a good night in his books. "Stop it" he spat out, voice rising above the music as Kenny started to waggle his eyebrows.

* * *

 

"I don't know." Kyle said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Am I overreacting?"

"Are you kidding me?" His mother clicked her tongue on the other end, he could see her behind his eyelids, angrily scrubbing the kitchen clean. To verify his vision, he could hear dishes clacking in the background. "Bubby, you've been talking about this day forever."

"Yeah but..." He couldn't help but defend his boyfriend, despite how pissed off he was at him. "School has been tough for him."

"And it hasn't for you?" She had him there. "Do you want me to talk to him for you?" _Fuck no._

"N-no.. mom. I don't think it has to come to that, it's not that bad."

"Are you sure? I like Oliver, I really do. He's polite and comes from a good family, but I can give him a stern talking to if I need to."

"Mom, please don't."

When Kyle first started dating Oliver, her like of his boyfriend came to a surprise. Perhaps it was his fear of suddenly coming out, he expected shouting and being disowned, but that never came to be. His mom was very progressive about everything, and after they sat down together to discuss it, she had told him she always had a feeling it would turn out this way. His father on the other hand... He never said anything bad, but he was indifferent about his son's sexuality. It was disheartening in some aspects, but Kyle figured he had it a lot better than most. At least he could visit his family on the holidays, he wasn't shunned. And it really helped that everyone liked Oliver, they thought that he was respectable.

It wasn't hard to come to that conclusion, he was classically good looking, strong and healthy. His parents weren't divorced, they were wealthy with no history of crime. Not to mention Oliver was highly polite, keeping his appearance neat, and was going in for a profession in medicine. Basically Kyle's boyfriend was Mr. Perfect. Everyone was impressed, and for the longest time Kyle was too. But it's tiring dating a person like that, who never makes a mistake and expects the same from you. The simple things Kyle enjoyed in life, late nights watching TV and eating tacos were gone. Don't get him wrong, it wasn't as if Oliver was outright forbidding it, but the disapproval was enough for Kyle to second guess going to places like that. In a way, he felt like an actor, playing a part - wearing a skin that didn't belong to him. Attending high-brow social gatherings, with fancy cocktails and uncomfortable but stylish shoes. 

"Well, what are you going to do?" Thank God, his mother was always willing to listen to him vent. He didn't know what he would do without her, it wasn't like he could talk to his 'friends'. They were more of Oliver's to begin with, all the same stiff high-class material.

"I'm going to go to that party, try to find some happiness tonight."

"Be careful, bubby. You never know who goes to those events, and their intentions."

Kyle dropped his hand, staring at his living room ceiling. "Thanks mom, I'll be safe. Although I'm sure I'm not going to be paid any attention."

"I hope so, dear." 


	3. Whoops: Part One

The guy passed out in the hallway spoke volumes about how the rest of this night was going to go. Eric nudged a stretched out hand with the point of his shoe, sniffing at the drawings of dicks and homophobic slurs on any available skin with permanent marker - an obvious must.

Slowly Eric turned to his companion, "Can we go now?" 

"But we just got here!"

"Yeah," Eric jabbed a thumb behind him, "now let's leave."

"Trust me." Kenny clasped him on the shoulder, smiling "You're going to have fun tonight." The blonde left him there, eager to join in on the festivities. Eric's gaze dropped down to the drunk again, considering his current dilemma. They might have taken his car, but he had no idea where they were, he hadn't been paying attention on the way over. Maybe he could make it back if he spotted a noticeable landmark, but he'd risk losing a friendship, and dealing with Kenny's girlfriend... He broke out into a shudder; that harpy would surely be out for blood. 

Cursing under his breath, he stepped over the body and strolled forward. He already knew it was going to be fucked, the party had spilled outside of the house with a crowd of people hanging out on the front yard. Which was pretty ballsy, considering how fucking cold it was, but after one step inside he understood. He wasn't in the tundra anymore, it was humid with so many people cramped into one place, it might as well have been a jungle. 

"Fuck" he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, regretting wearing his jacket. Through the swarm in living room he pushed onward to the kitchen, ignoring everyone. He was solely going to enjoy tonight if he got shitfaced. Taking a beer from the case on the counter, he fished through the drawers for a bottle opener. There wasn't any.

He lifted his head at the tap on his shoulder, turning around his brows furrowed at the man standing before him. "Thanks" he mumbled, taking it from him. 

"Dude, no problem."

With a grunt he popped his lid open. He raised his beer slightly in a toast and took a swig, tossing the bottle opener to a counter. Swallowing the cool alcohol down, he gave his company a look over. 

He was cute, shorter than what Eric usually went for, but maybe tonight he'd make an exception. One last survey of the perfect skin and wavy light brown hair, and he dropped his gaze to the other man's shy expression and smiled softly. "Not your usual thing?"

His companion shrugged, holding his beer close to his chest. It looked as if he had only a sip, but had been holding it for a while. "Not really. I don't know a lot of people here, so it's a bit awkward."

"Tell me about it," Eric leaned back, "my friend ditched me to run God knows where." 

"Well..." The blush suddenly flushing the man's cheeks was wholly anticipated by Eric, "I'm glad we met, um...?" 

"Eric." They shook hands. He rose a brow at the thumb brushing across his knuckles, meanwhile that wasn't. "And you're?" 

"Alex." 

He flashed a smirk, "I bet we're going to like our time together." Both of their hands fell away.

* * *

 

Kyle rolled his eyes at the body in the corridor. It appeared the party was in full effect, with no signs of slowing down. Stepping over the man, Kyle weaved through the crowded halls to find a bit of space. He casually walked throughout the house, barely catching bits of conversation above the music being played. Pausing to stare at a few photo frames hanging on the wall in the hallway, he was startled by someone calling his name. 

For one second his heart raced, thinking it was Oliver as he spun on his heel. "Kenny?!"

"Yo, man" the blonde walked up to him, quickly locking him into an embrace. "I thought it was you!" They still kept in touch, although not as much as both parties would have preferred. The fact that they ran into each other was a shock but wholly welcomed, at least Kyle knew he wouldn't be completely alone tonight.

"What are you doing here?!" They stepped back, admiring the changes since they met up a month ago. He couldn't help but notice that Kenny's hair got shaggier, and absently noted to tell the blonde about the hairdresser he went to. Unaware that Kenny was equally observant to how tired he looked, stressed.

"I just came to chill out, man. But still, what are the odds we'd run into one another?" 

"Yep." They both awkwardly shifted their weight, unsure how they should continue on.

"So.." Kenny started, "I'm surprised to see you without, uh..." 

"Oliver."

"Right, Oliver. Where is he?" Kenny stood up on the points of his feet, looking around Kyle's shoulder like he'd manifest in a second. 

Kyle cleared his throat, "He - Um, he couldn't make it. It's only me." Kenny dropped back down.

"Oh... Well, you can stick with us."

His brows knitted together, "Us?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Kyle wasn't sure how he felt about that inquiry. Kenny shook his head, "This is a really strange party, what are the odds of us reuniting like this?"  _Reuniting?  Was... was it Stan?_ They chatted on skype all the time, but they hadn't met in person in forever. But he should have said something, shouldn't he? If he was in the area, Stan would have mentioned it. Shaking his head, Kyle followed Kenny. It was hard not getting hyped on the blonde's energy.

* * *

"Hey!"

Eric sighed, pausing in his conversation and swung his head over. " _What?"_

"Dude! You won't b-" The rest of Kenny's words fell on deaf ears. Eric's heart plummeted into his belly, like a sudden drop on a roller coaster ride. Vaguely he remembered to close his mouth, reminded that there were other people with them.

"What the fuck!?"

"Um," Alex glanced between them, before mumbling an excuse and scurrying away.

Kyle was just as shocked, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Hey..." _Holy shit._ Of all the people, he didn't expect to run into Eric fucking Cartman. And maybe he was going crazy, but the hefty brunette was actually... kinda hot...? It was strange thinking of him in that context, and Kyle definitely didn't think he ever would. To put it simply, the world had been flipped over on its axis.

He was taller than Kyle could recall, after graduation he must have had another growth spurt. Kyle was by no means short, his father's genetics made sure of that, and yet Eric was still a couple of inches taller. Casually he was against a kitchen counter, holding a beer without a care in the world. Kyle cleared this throat, dragging his gaze away from the brunette's broad shoulders and thick hair - appearing incredibly soft to the point where Kyle's fingers itched to run through them.

"Hey" he repeated, now realizing that neither had said anything and were still standing at an awkward distance. 

Coming to his senses, Eric's eyes moved over to the satisfied Kenny. "I'm going for a smoke" he mumbled, pace quick as he exited the room, shoulder brushing against the Jew. It took too long until he got out on the back porch, ignoring everyone and everything as he fished in his jacket's pocket for his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He knew that little stunt was going to rile that asshole up, but frankly Eric couldn't care less. 

Putting the beer bottle on the ground, he took a cigarette out of the packet, he placed it in his lips and dragged the spark-wheel of the lighter down, mindful of the flame. Inhaling deeply, he let the smoke slither from his mouth, climbing into the darkness of the night sky in twisting patterns. Returning the lighter to its pocket, he blamed the trembling of his hands on the cold. 

This really sucked. He had hoped when they met, he'd say all of these clever things to make Kyle regret leaving his friends behind like they were trash. And yeah, they were never really chummy, but it was messed up that the Jew would do that to his... rival, or whatever he thought Eric was. 

"Jesus." Eric squinted, rubbing at the middle of his forehead with his knuckles. There was so much he planned on saying, but with one look at that dirty Jew and he chickened out like a complete bitch. He really hadn't expected for Kyle to remain so annoyingly attractive. His shitty childhood crush reared its ugly head, making him remember the first time when he jerked off to the image of Kyle playing in a basket ball game. Those ridiculous shorts. Even then Eric had still been pretending that he wasn't gay, had done so for the longest time.

"Shit" he breathed, "I'm in so much trouble." 

 

"I can't fucking believe..." Kyle broke off, still staring at where the young man had just left. Of course despite acting polite, Cartman would dismiss him like a complete child. He didn't know why he expected him to act like an intelligent human being for once. "Did that seriously happen?"

Kenny shrugged his shoulders. Kyle glared at him, bothered that the blonde didn't seem too upset with Eric's antics. "He's... you know... Cartman." Like that was an appropriate answer. 

"He's an adult! He should be acting like one!"

"C'mon, man. Cut him some slack, he's mellowed since you last saw him."

Kyle bit the inside of his cheek, he hated to admit it, but Kenny was right. Nothing was destroyed in a brawl, and there wasn't a screaming match. By all counts, Eric had acted respectfully, at least for him. But still, it wasn't good enough for Kyle. _Why is that? What was he hoping to get from Cartman?_   He sighed, unwillingly thinking of that 'pull' he had only momentarily felt. That connection... He squashed it down, shoving it into some dusty corner of his mind. 

Pat on his shoulder, he took the beer bottle from his friend and drained its contents.

"Woah! Slow down!" 

Kyle gasped as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and set it on a counter, looking for another bottle. That strange feeling he felt could be chalked up to the anger and rejection he was feeling over his boyfriend ditching him, and that was it. He didn't think Eric Cartman was nice to look at, didn't have the thought of jumping him for a round of sloppy sex in some bedroom. Not at all, that would be an awful thing to think. He was in a committed relationship, and besides... it was Cartman, the number one bigot in the fucking world.

He got the lid to the bottle off, and started to drink right away, hoping to clear the thoughts from his mind.


	4. Whoops: Part Two

With one last final drag, Eric flicked the remains of his cigarette off the porch. Smoke spilling from his lips, he braced his hands on the railing, leaning forward. Across the stretch of the backyard he could see people stumbling around, loud voices similar to those behind him. 

"Fuck it, I should bail." He didn't have time for this in his life, he was doing things - he wouldn't let that undermining Jew get in the way. Not even for all of the sexual fantasies of the past, it wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it... That was it, his mind was made up. He'd grab Kenny and they'd leave, probably hit up some food truck on the way back. Food was always a sure way for Eric to feel better.

Releasing the railing, he bent down and scooped his beer bottle up, taking a swig. Swallowing a mouthful of the alcohol down, he headed back in. He had to elbow the couple making out in front of the door frame, uncaring if they cursed him out as he walked past. Music blasting his ears and sweating like a pig, he pushed on through, eyes scanning the faces of the party goers for his best friend. Kenny wasn't where Eric last saw him, the kitchen was empty besides some guy who was vomiting in a sink. He grimaced at the sight, turning back from the room.

"Where the fuck is that asshole?" He was beyond frustrated at this point, half wanting to ditch the blonde altogether. Thankfully he didn't think about it much longer, he soon spotted Kenny in the living room with... Shit. Cheeks flushed and eyes a little glassy, he had an arm swung over Kyle. The other has his brows furrowed, but a smile was on his lips. They looked happy, catching up or doing whatever sentimental losers did. Fingernails digging into the palms of his hands, Eric stalked forward, trying to ignore the uneasiness to his belly. 

His footsteps were muted by the music, but a few feet away they noticed his arrival with the shadow passing over them. 

"Hey" he mumbled, not willing to look at the Jew. 

"Hey, man" Kenny replied, grinning happily. "Wanna have a seat?" Obviously he wasn't sensing the tension in the air right now. He patted the spot on the couch beside him. Eric eyed the movement, every part of him screaming to refuse when he glanced over to their company. Kyle was glaring at him, cheeks flushed. Eric wasn't completely certain if it was from anger or the alcohol clearly affecting him. Maybe it was both? Did he care? He smirked, showing his teeth as he sat down.

Kenny sat between the pair, excitedly he kept turning his head to look at the both of them. "This is so fucking rad." 

"So rad" Eric rolled his eyes, settling in and putting his arm on the headrest. He was trying to look nonchalant, like his stomach wasn't twisted into a painful knot. After a few minutes he'd mention leaving this awful party, and if Kenny refused... Well, he'd drag the blonde out of this hellhole if he had to. Either way he was going home, the problem was not looking like a complete bitch doing it. 

"I know we started off rough, but we're having fun now. Right?"

He couldn't help but glance over Kenny, catching a glimpse of Kyle staring at the space in front of him. Eric turned away, mood clouding over. 

At the silence Kenny tried to start the conversation again, determined to have everyone laughing - like the good old times. "So Kyle?" The man in question snapped out of his daze, offering Kenny a slight smile. 

"Yeah?"

"How has the love life been?"

Kyle stared at him, blinking owlishly. "Um..." 

"You've been together with Oliver for a while, right?"

He bit on his bottom lip, gaze moving away to his lap. Absently the bottle in his hand was spun around. He knew that Kenny didn't mean anything bad by the question, but he couldn't help but be annoyed with it. Perhaps it was because of who sat with them, but Kyle felt protective about the details of his current life. It was as if Cartman knowing would somehow make it become tainted. _More than it already is?_ He shook his head free of the snide voice, slow to respond to the inquiry. 

"It's good, we really love each other." He bristled at the sound of Eric snorting. Edge to his voice, he spat out "Is there a problem?" His childhood friend shrugged his shoulders, finally lifting his head to meet his gaze. He hated that a shiver ran down his spine when they stared into each other's eyes.

"Nothing's wrong," the other drawled, "I think it's _cute_."

"Cute?" Kyle mumbled. "What's cute about it?"

"You, being in love."

Kyle went to get up, but Kenny pressed him back down. "Calm down, man. Cartman doesn't mean anything bad by it." He tossed a glance over his shoulder. Eric shrugged, turning back. Silence rose between the trio once more. Although it was soon interrupted by Kenny sighing. "I think we should scrap tonight." He grunted as he got off the couch, "C'mon big guy."

"Finally" Eric breathed out, putting his bottle on an end table. He grunted as Kenny gave him a hand up. Dropping his hand, he patted himself to make sure he had everything as Kenny talked with Kyle.

"Are you going to be all right by yourself?"

Kyle smiled, "I'll be fine, I'll head out shortly anyways."

"Oliver picking you up?"

"No, I'll take a cab home."

"You're kidding me?" Kyle shook his head, self conscious. "Well, we can't have that. You're coming with us." 

Eric's head snapped up, "What?"

"He's coming with us."

"Uh, no he isn't. Last time I checked it's my car we took, so my rules."

"Dude..." Kenny punched his arm, "Just look at the guy! We can't leave him alone!" Before he knew it, Eric's head swung over to stare at Kyle. Even if the red head was glaring holes into his skull, he looked so... sad sitting there, awkwardly folded in on himself as he held onto the bottle for dear life. 

"Fuck" Eric groaned, knowing fully well he'd regret this. "Fine. Let's go before I change my mind."

Kyle started to protest that he was okay getting home on his own, but before he could get a proper word in Eric was grabbing his arm and hauling him to his feet. Room spinning with the change, he stumbled forward, crashing into Eric's chest. His arms automatically reached out, trying to steady himself by holding onto Eric's shoulders; the bottle fell to the ground, beer splashing their shoes before it rolled off. Time lost meaning as they froze, caught in a strange moment - it was if everything fell away and it was just them. Slowly Kyle lifted his head, blinking at the surprised look the other was giving him. 

Fingers clutching Eric's jacket, he felt the overwhelming heat of the other seep into him, melting some icy part of his chest he didn't even know existed. Kyle anxiously swallowed, breathing in Eric's scent. There was definitely traces of the recent cigarette, but underneath all of the smoke there was a woodsy smell - redwood, or perhaps pine mixed together with mint. It was utterly different to the cologne Oliver wore.

Despite wanting to bury his nose into Eric's throat and never come back up for air, Kyle dropped his hands, forcing himself to take a step back. Eric seemed just as rattled, the tips of his ears red. Kyle opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it. 

Eric cleared his throat, "Let's uh... let's go." Kyle hummed his response, movements jittery as he trailed after the pair. Kenny didn't comment on the exchange, but he didn't need to. The grin he bore already said so much. No one thought it would be possible, but things were worse now. The silence was deafening as they left that house behind, struggling to step over the still unconscious man in the entry way. 

"Poor bastard" Eric mumbled, "Buddy that owns this house should deal with this."

Kenny snorted, holding the door open for Kyle to go past. "I'm sure he'll have stern words with himself when he wakes up."

Both of Eric's eyebrows shot up, "You're kidding me?" At Kenny's grin, Eric shook his head. "Fuck..." 

Kyle fumbled with his coat's zipper, wanting to focus on anything else over than Eric's sudden bark of laughter. Cursing himself, he snuck another glance, wondering whether that bizarre feeling was a momentary fluke. It wasn't. Walking down the driveway, Eric's face was lit up with the jokes shared between him and Kenny. Steam came from his lips in bursts with every chuckle, partially illuminated by the street lights. Kyle looked away, drawing his cold hands to his chest.

* * *

 

When they finally got to Eric's car, Kyle headed to the back, but before he could grab the door handle he was stopped. Questioningly he stared at Kenny, letting the blonde move his hand away. "I'm feeling a little dizzy, mind if I get the back?"

"I-er..." Kyle peered at Eric over the car roof. He didn't look bothered by it, bending down to climb in. Kyle sighed, stepping back. "Thanks, dude." Giving his shoulder a pat, Kenny pulled the door open and clambered in. With no other choice, Kyle reluctantly opened the front passenger side. Sitting on the chilled leather, his teeth began to chatter. Quickly he closed the door and put his seat belt on.

"Fuck" Eric hissed, turning the engine on and putting the heater on full blast. "It's fucking cold!"

From the darkness behind them, they could hear Kenny mumble "No shit Sherlock."

"Fuck off" Eric snapped, voice lacking any venom. The air blowing on them was cold, it took a minute but eventually it began to warm up. Eagerly Kyle leaned forward, sticking his hands out. He was jarred out of this bliss when Eric cleared his throat, confused when he was handed a cell phone. 

Taking it, he asked "What do you want me to do with this?"

Eric rolled his eyes, "Type your address in, obviously. I need to know how to get you home."

"Oh..." Kyle launched the maps app, entering their current address and then putting his apartment's in the next line. He wasn't sure how he felt about Eric knowing where he lived. After the directions loaded onto the screen, he placed it a cup-holder, sitting back while a computer generated voice guided them down the street and onto the main road. 

In the background Kyle could make out snoring. It looked like Kenny decided to leave them alone. Peeling his gaze away from his window view, he asked softly "What?"

They came to a stop at a red light, "I said you can turn the radio on if you want."

Kyle chewed on his bottom lip, studying Eric's side profile before he moved forward, fiddling with the knobs. Static pierced his ears, and he swiftly lowered the volume and tried tuning the channels again. He skipped over advertisements for a mattress store and pop music. Oddly enough, he found himself wanting to find music Eric liked. But what exactly did he like? Kyle wasn't sure if the brunette's musical taste had changed over the years. Did he listen to the same bands? 

In the end he settled with a rock song. Even with the volume raised the sound didn't come out clearly, the signal was just too faint. All the same he didn't change it, returning to stare out the glass once more. 

"So," Eric started, fingers tapping along with the vocals. "How's life been?"

Kyle didn't move his head this time, favouring to shift his gaze from the increasingly familiar landscape and to Eric's reflection. "It's okay."

"You're dating a guy?"

His brows knitted together, wholly expecting Eric to go on a homophobic rant when he said "Yep." Only it never came, just more of that silence, in the dead middle of being either comfortable or uncomfortable. Maybe this conversation would decide which?

"Cool." _Cool?_  This couldn't possibly be Cartman, this had to be an imposer. 

"And... you're okay with that?" He jumped when Eric suddenly laughed.

"Dude," Eric shook his head in disbelief, "why would it matter if I was okay with it or not?" He had him there. Perplexed by that question, Kyle chewed on his bottom lip.

"I don't know." The honesty behind his words startled even himself. "I..."

The thought that this other man was a fake was increased when Eric softly said, "Relax. I'm not going to bust your balls about you screwing some guy, so can you just calm down?"

"I am calm..."

Eric scoffed, "Dude, you're wound tighter than a nun's legs during Sunday mass. Really, you need to do more yoga or whatever bullshit gets rid of stress." 

"For one, ew. I didn't need to envision that. Second..." Kyle frowned. How was it that Eric fucking Cartman noticed how under pressure he was, but his boyfriend didn't? What screwed up twilight dimension was this? "...Thanks."

The other simply grunted, dismissing their sappy conversation as he turned onto Kyle's street. Rolling to a stop before an apartment complex, he let out a low whistle as he parked the car. "Fancy."

"Shut up." 

"No but really," Eric craned his neck "it's a nice place."

"Dude," Kyle groaned. "Knock it off."

"What? Am I embarrassing you?" 

Unbuckling the belt, Kyle twisted in his seat, fully intending to wack Eric upside the head. His hand fell short, purpose lost when he finally saw the easy-going smile Eric wore. The softness and simplicity of it had Kyle's heart plunging from his chest.

"Fuck" he whispered, lost on what to do. Eric rose a brow, smile gradually disappearing with Kyle's reaction.

"Uh, you okay? If you're going to vomit, do it literally anywhere else but in my fucking car." With Kyle's lack of speaking, Eric undid his belt, concern mounting as he leaned forward. He snapped his fingers, "Earth to Jew. Are you in there? Kyle...?"

He didn't know why he did what he did, couldn't even fathom beginning to rationalize his actions. All he knew was that with Eric gently saying his name with such worry, he bridged the distance between them. Before their lips met, he could see Eric's eyes widen. After that... well, he couldn't string together much thought. 

 

Eric hadn't the faintest clue how he ended up here, body awkwardly bent over the console with Kyle's hands in his hair and tongue in his mouth. He didn't mind, not even the soreness of his spine - he could deal with bleeding out right now, so long as Kyle kept kissing him. 

He groaned low in his throat, reaching for Kyle's arm and trying to pull him closer. He had just placed his hand on Kyle's throat, thumb lightly brushing against the flesh there when Kyle suddenly yanked himself away. Both stared at each other, space between them filled with their laboured breaths. 

"Kyle?" He whispered, voice hoarse. 

"Fuck," Kyle pushed his hair back, holding the curls against his head like he was going crazy - that he just noticed they just spent how many minutes making out. "What the fuck am I doing?"

Eric's hands fell into his lap, "My thoughts exactly. Don't you want to... aren't you...?"

"I can't do this."

Eric frowned. "What the fuck are you talking about? Wh-" He sputtered as Kyle wrenched the car door open. "Kyle!"

Bolting out, Kyle nearly slipped on the patch of ice on the pavement. Words squashed together, he spat out "Thanks for the ride" before slamming the door. He didn't mean to close it hard, didn't mean for any of this to happen. He had a boyfriend for fuck's sake! Face burning in shame, Kyle crossed his arms over his chest and jogged the rest of the way to the front entrance, ignoring the shouting.

It took five tries before he could properly enter the pass-code in, but as soon as it turned green he hurried inside. Lock clicking back into place, Kyle leaned against the door, dropping his head to the wood as he eyes closed. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears.

"Shit" he hissed, troubled not only by his actions, but by how good it felt. How warm and safe Eric felt, the taste of his mouth a- Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose. "I drank too much, that was it." Then why didn't he believe it? With a loud sigh Kyle dropped his hand, reluctantly moving from the door and heading to the lobby elevator. 


	5. Interlude: Aftertaste

Eric squinted at his reflection, expression that of boredom as he brushed his teeth. He didn't have any plans for today beyond randomly roaming the streets, trying to get familiar with his surroundings. Back in South Park there wasn't a lot to do, so this new city life was bizarre and thrilling. Thrilling...

He spat into the sink, turning the knob as the white glob went racing down the drain. When he lifted his head, he couldn't help but stare at his lips. Thinking of how last night... Eric loudly cursed. Once more he bent downwards, placing his toothbrush down before he splashed his face with cool water. It had been a mistake last night, that much was clear - Kyle's panicked expression said that plainly. Wiping the back of his arm over his eyes, Eric grimaced. "Whatever" he grumbled, "he was a shit kisser anyways." Ignoring the memory of jerking off as soon as he got home, he turned the faucet off and stripped out of his clothes. Leaving them on the floor, Eric heavily sighed, yanking the shower curtain back.

* * *

 

"Good morning."

Kyle cursed under his breath, kicking himself for flinching. "Good morning," he repeated, tossing a painfully awkward smile over his shoulder.

Oliver smiled back, sleepy and at ease as he stood by the kitchen's table. Gesturing to the plate of food and fresh mug of coffee he asked softly, "Is this for me?" Kyle hummed, turning back around. "You shouldn't have."

"It's okay, I..." He placed the now clean plate into the drying rack on the counter, "I couldn't sleep." He chewed his bottom lip, listening as Oliver pulled the chair back and sat down.

"Really?" His boyfriend called out, eagerly cutting into his omelet. "I didn't hear you come in last night. Did you even climb into bed?"

"I did, I just... I don't know, had a lot of pent up energy. I thought cleaning the flat would get rid of that."

"I guess that means the party was fun?"

Kyle's movements stilled. "Uh, it was okay... Not the best but..." He wet his lips, "I did get to see some old friends." Why did he say that? Did he want him to find out?

"Anyone I know?"

Transfixed on the soapy water, Kyle searched for the proper way to tell Oliver about what had happened. It was a hard task, he couldn't properly think over the roar of his heartbeat. "K-Kenny." _Shit. Shit._

Oliver's voice was muffled, like he was in a different room or trying to speak over a rush of water. Kyle knew that wasn't good, that he was about to have a breakdown at any given moment, but he couldn't recognize that. He was already so busy with focusing on making his mouth form words, to  _just tell him_. But every time he thought he was actually going to say it, this insistent mocking inner voice tore it all down.

_Tell him. Tell him what a complete utter failure you are, how you're such a giant cheating piece of shit-_

 "I..."

_That you liked kissing Cartman, liked how he made you feel. How happy you were even in a fleeting moment, how terrified but excited you were. To do something like that, you have to be a horrible person, Kyle. Kyle!_

"Kyle!" Suddenly dropping the cup he'd been squeezing into the sink, he spun around, gripping the edge of the counter.

"S-sorry?"

Oliver was staring at him, brows furrowed. "Are you okay?" From the intensity of his gaze, Kyle was compelled to look away, face burning from the attention. 

"Y-yeah I'm..." he shakily inhaled, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You had a strange moment there."

He forced out a "I'm only tired."

"Well..." Oliver said softly, tone suspicious and disbelieving "You had what I can only imagine was a crazy night. It makes sense that you'd be feeling it the day after." Despite what curiosity he might have felt, Oliver didn't pursue the topic. Perhaps he thought it wasn't important, not in the grand scope of things. A part of Kyle wanted him to do the opposite, to be attentive even if it meant a secret being revealed. 

Stomach sinking, Kyle plunged his hands into the water for the cup and sponge again. "I-it sure was..." Finally finding the glass, he picked it up, staring at his warped reflection glaring back at him. Even if Oliver could be... forgetful sometimes, he didn't deserve being lied to. He was a good man, that much was obvious. He had his whole future planned out in front of him - hell, parents loved him! He was just that kind of guy... 

Kyle sighed. "H-hey Oliver, there's something I've been meaning to tell you..." Still clutching the cup, he turned around to properly face his boyfriend. When he told the truth, he should at least have enough respect to look his partner in the eyes as he confessed. "Las-"

Oliver held a finger up, "Hold that thought." While Kyle remained frozen in place, he pushed his chair back and walked around the table, carrying his dishes. Smile content, he dropped them into the sink, pausing to kiss Kyle's cheek before he held him at arm's length. "Thanks for breakfast, I really appreciate it. Can we have a chat later? I still have to stop by uni' for a couple of forms." Slowly Kyle closed his mouth, absently his brows knitted together. "But trust me, when I get back you'll have my full attention and you can fill me in. How does that sound?"

"I..." Kyle glanced away from Oliver, "O-okay."

His grin widened. "You're the best." He leaned forward to quickly peck Kyle's lips before he hurried to exit the room, leaving his boyfriend to just stand there. 

* * *

_Yesterday night_

 

Eric stared at the spot where Kyle had been not too long ago, his head still spinning. They'd been there happily kissing, and in an instant the Jew was gone. Running away like his life depended on it. Loudly Eric exhaled, brushing his hair from his eyes as he turned back in his seat.

 _What the fuck was that all about?_   He shook his head, gripping the steering wheel and leaning forward as it felt like his heart was giving out. Later he would label it as having an unexpected case of heartburn, and totally not because his longtime crush rejected him in a spectacularly confusing and douche-bag way. 

The street was filled with the jarring sound of a horn honking. Eric let the sharp noise run for a minute before he bothered to lift his head. A sour taste to his mouth, he put his seat belt back on. As he switched the gears and drove off, he left behind a series of houses with their lights now turned on. Several house owners annoyed as they peered outside, each trying to figure who would disrupt the quietness of the night.


	6. Welcome To Hell

Today was the official start of university life. For others' it was simply spring semester, but for Eric who had started later, it was a new beginning. Sure it was going to be rough, by this time people already have their preferred groups, but he didn't care too much about that. Making friends was never a problem, the real issue was keeping them...

The beaming sun had the snowy landscape glistening, sending blinding rays as the ice covering the cars reflected it back. Thankfully Eric had enough brain cells to wear his sunglasses, but even then he found himself squinting as he drove along the stretch of road.

Music from the radio blaring, absently he grabbed his thermos from the cup holder. Mindful of the shitty driver in front of him, Eric took a sip. Immediately he cursed when the scalding liquid touched his lips, and placed the flask back down. "Son of a bitch!"

Hissing through his teeth, Eric could only shake his head as he turned off the main road and onto a small parking lot attached to a cafe. Pulling up to a vacant spot, Eric parked the car and quickly checked his messages. Confirming that this was the place Kenny suggested he hit up, Eric peered up at the sign.

Snorting he turned off the engine and undid his seat belt, wondering if _Jelly U_ cafe would live up to the hype. Climbing out of the car, he shut the door and leaned against the side.

"Hurry up," he mumbled while shifting his weight "I don't have all day." Kenny was supposed to be here soon, but if he didn't show up quickly Eric was tempted to bail. Despite the sunshine, it was cold enough that Eric's balls were going to be glued to the side of his leg. He didn't think Kenny would help him if that happened - not that he'd be willing to take the help if offered.

"Christ" he grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. Maybe he should have just went straight to the university instead of making a bagel run? But on the other hand, if he went there on an empty stomach he didn't think he'd be able to handle all of the pretentious assholes.

At the thought of his fellow students, he fetched his lighter and a cigarette from his jean's pocket. From the corner of his eye he could see a truck pull up as he took his first drag, smoke slipping from his lips as he tucked the lighter back into his pocket. 

With a loud sniff, he offered a half wave to Kenny's happy face when he clambered out. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Uncaring about the state of his friend's testicles, Kenny shrugged, "I took a detour." Ignoring the other's sudden scoff, Kenny gestured towards the stout building. "Are you ready to go in?"

"Dude," Eric flicked his cigarette to the ground, "This place better be good."

The pair eagerly walked up the path to the store. "Have I ever lied to you?"

Eric rolled his eyes, "Maybe you just haven't been caught yet."

 

The door jingled as they entered, the scent that greeted them was warm and pleasant. Fresh coffee and a rack of muffins piping hot from the oven, it made Eric's stomach loudly groan.

"Shit" he mumbled, mouth watering. His gaze dropped down, raising a brow at the elbow to his side. Kenny shot him a grin, expression smug as he led him to the front counter. While they waited in line, Eric took the time to appraise their surroundings. He definitely wasn't an interior designer or some old woman who cared about things like that, but the cafe held a comfortable atmosphere. If he was the latter, he'd probably call it quaint.

The walls were a pale cream, making the pink and orange accents on the signs stand out more. Hanging on the middle of the wall across from them, the signs rested above a shelf housing several knickknacks. This Ma and Pa vibe was completely different from what Eric was used to. Not that he usually ate breakfast, often he slept late until it was noon - when he did wake up, he hit the nearest place that had burritos.

Absently he rubbed his stomach, wondering how many years his diet took off his lifespan. Did he care? Did anyone? 

Once more he glanced downwards at Kenny. He felt a little better with the thought that the blonde would, but that was only because Kenny was attuned with his emotions or whatever bullshit his girlfriend forced down his throat. Without thinking he gave his friend a pat on his shoulder, staring at the floorboards when the blonde quizzically turned back. Not finding an answer, slowly his friend faced the front again. 

Wordlessly the pair stepped forward when it was their turn.

* * *

The morning news broadcast played while Kyle stared outside the car window, eyes fighting a constant battle to stay open. Last night had been awful, despite it being rather quiet he didn't get any sleep. During their 'talk', Kyle had mumbled an excuse and shitty summary of the party - making sure not to mention Eric at all.

Whatever. He needed more time to think things over anyways. But he swore to God that he'd tell Oliver... eventually... But even after all of that, his conscience refused to let him have a break. The night had been spent staring at his darkened ceiling, remembering how big Cartman's hands were. How surprisingly gently he was held, like in a moment's notice he'd shatter.

The phantom touch of a thumb rubbing along his throat had him shivering, goosebumps rising on his flesh.

"Are you cold?"

"N-no," he forced out, "I'm okay."

Oliver eyed him for a few seconds before returning his gaze back to the road, "Let's just hope it's warm in that cafe. I know last week they were having problems with the heater."

"Oh" Kyle said around a yawn, "Did they finally fix it?"

"I believe so."

Their conversation fell flat. That seemed to be happening more often, especially after the party. It was hard to engage Oliver in a discussion, every time they spoke to one another, Kyle couldn't help but notice the lengthening divide between them. He had no idea how it got there, or how to get rid of it.

Turning into a parking lot, Oliver parked the car and turned the engine off. "Looks like we beat the morning rush." He shot Kyle a smile, expression pleased as he clambered out. His boyfriend merely sighed, waiting a few seconds before he even bothered to take his seat belt off and climb out.

Shivering at the temperature change, Kyle crossed his arms over his chest and hurried to follow Oliver inside. Smiling softly when Oliver held the door open for him, Kyle only took a couple of steps inside before he heard a familiar laugh.

Immediately he stopped dead in his tracks, heart leaping in his throat as he turned away from the front counter to look at the booths in the back.

Laughing at some unheard joke, Kenny sat across from Eric eating their breakfast. Eric was shaking his head, taking a bite of his bacon, the one of many that was heaped on his plate. The need to flee this place overwhelming, Kyle spun on his heel, ready to run when Oliver stepped inside. Not noticing the turmoil his boyfriend was going through, his gaze naturally looked to see what Kyle had been staring at. Surprise crossing over his face, it was soon replaced with a friendly smile.

 _No. No. No. No. N_ \- "Kenny!" 

Kyle's heart had officially broke free from his rib cage, left on the cold floor as Oliver stepped over it and approached the booths. Desperately Kyle tried to grab the back of Oliver's sweater, "H-hey let's, um..." He peered over Oliver's shoulder, suddenly breaking into a coughing fit when the other men finally noted their presence. Hands falling down, Kyle's numb legs carried his over to his boyfriend's side.

"Hey Oliver!" Kenny dropped his fork in favour of climbing to his feet, half hunched over the table as he shook the other's hand. "Man, it's been too long."

"It has," Oliver chuckled. "Look I didn't want to interrupt your meal, but I wanted to thank you for taking care of Kyle at the party."

Kenny snorted, releasing the other's hand and sitting back down. "Trust me, it wasn't a problem."

"That may be the case, but it still meant a great deal to me. After all.... I.." Oliver glanced to the side, "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met...?"

Kyle paled considerably, ears ringing as he gingerly peered at Eric.

Leaning back in his seat, Eric took this entire conversation in with a frown, obviously irked by this turn of events. 

 _He's pissed_ , Kyle thought to himself.  

Deep voice drawling out a curt "You're right," it had a shiver running down Kyle's spine. 

Oliver's outstretched hand slowly lowered, "I... see." He turned back to the blonde, "I'm sorry if I disrupted you two."

"No, it's okay!" Kenny laughed, "Just don't mind Cartman, he isn't in a good mood this early." Although saying this, Kenny glanced at Eric's sour expression. "You know, there's enough room. You're more than welcomed to sit with us." 

What negative emotion Oliver might have felt was swiftly erased, breaking out into another cheerful smile. "Well, all right." As soon as Kenny moved over, Oliver took the seat beside him. Offering Kyle an encouraging smile when he looked up.

Standing there, Kyle's gaze darted over their group's faces, slow to actually look at Eric's. Before he could even open his mouth to ask Eric to slide over, the brunette grumbled a curse and moved his plate and body to the side. 

"Thanks" he mumbled, taking Eric's seat. Staring at the table, Kyle shifted his weight on the leather. With a start he realized this spot was warm... He chewed on the inside of his cheek, fingers fumbling with his hoodie's zipper. While the men across from him chatted, Kyle gradually peered to the side.

Eric wasn't looking at him, head resting on his palm, he was indifferently eating his food. For all he cared, it was only him in the world. Kyle turned back, trying his best to ignore the heat and scent wafting off the other's body. It was a hard task to stay afloat the cloud of pine, mint, and cigarettes. Throwing caution to the wind, Kyle discretely inhaled and settled further into his seat.


	7. Sunny Side Up

Kyle stretched his fingers out, wrapping them around the hot mug of coffee. After they sat at the booth for a few minutes, Kyle had ventured to the front to buy his and Oliver's meal. Well, Oliver's food and his coffee. Ever since entering the cafe, it seemed that Kyle's appetite was nowhere in sight. 

There was no doubt in his mind the reason why. He wet his dry lips, cautiously peering out of the corner of his eye. The hefty brunette still hadn't looked at him, not since he sat down. The knowledge of that had a pit settling in the bottom of Kyle's stomach, aching while Eric harshly stabbed another piece of egg with his fork.

Not able to help himself, Kyle traced Eric's features, how his brows were knitted together with a scowl. Kyle's grip loosened when his gaze dropped to Eric's lips, heart beat hammering when he carefully let go of his mug to discretely wipe his sweaty hands on his jeans. It had already been hard trying to forget their kiss, but now with Eric present, it was impossible. That invisible touch was all the more apparent, fingers carefully stroking the back of his neck, leaving Kyle to shiver.

Catching the slight movement, Eric shifted in his seat, casting a curious look in the other's direction.

_Holy shit_. Kyle froze, thoughts melting away when their eyes finally met. While Eric rose a brow at his reaction, Kyle couldn't help but be reminded of how small this booth actually was. Even though Eric was squished against the wall, it wouldn't take much for their thighs to touch one another. Face burning with the idea, Kyle ripped his gaze away. Wordlessly he cursed himself out, for being stupid enough to actually look at the brunette in the first place.

"So..."

Kyle gulped, not breathing while his ears strained to listen. And while it was a blessing that Kenny was occupying Oliver right now in some discussion about God knows what, it was also muffling Eric's voice. 

"So...?" He mumbled back, curiosity increasing at Eric's lengthy pause. It got the better of him, and he glanced to the side. 

Eric was still looking at him, fingers tapping on the table. Kyle quickly looked down, noting how Eric had finished all of his food. Was that why he was finally being acknowledged? It wasn't all that surprising, but it was still a tad hurtful. That he was only important when there wasn't anything left to eat.

He frowned when Eric nodded at something across from the table, "He's your boyfriend, right?" _Fuck._ His heart stopped dead, and for a minute he had nothing to say. What should he say? Did it matter? If he knew Cartman, and he did, then the brunette was going to use this against him somehow. Blackmail him over the kiss, and make him do things he hated to torment him. There was a million ways that this was turning into a train wreck. 

Eric sighed, shaking his head when he reached for his coffee. "I'll take that as a yes." He shot Kyle a glare when he opened his mouth, wordlessly shushing the protesting. "Stop freaking out so much, you're giving me indigestion."

"I'm not..." Kyle broke off, glancing to his boyfriend. He was still distracted, thank God. He turned back, uttering under his breath "What do you want?" That got the other's attention. His head snapped up, giving Kyle such a dirty look that he flinched. 

"The only thing I want," he started loudly, volume quickly silencing the rest of their group, "Is for you to fucking move."

"Move?" Kyle mumbled, all too aware of the others staring at them. 

Eric scoffed, placing a hand on Kyle's shoulder and giving him a shove. Despite the mounting anger he was feeling, there wasn't a lot of force behind it. The expression Kyle was giving him said otherwise, the asshole was staring at him like he'd been punched. It was pissing him off. "C'mon," he hissed, "I don't have all day."

"Um, excuse me." Eric rolled his eyes, not bothering to listen when Kyle's pretty little boyfriend started to chirp him off. "You can't talk to him that way."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "Fucking sue me." He slid over the seat, having to wait for Kyle to stumble over his feet getting out. Snatching his coat from behind him, he tucked it under his arm before he got up. Ignoring them, he stomped out of the cafe, letting the door slam shut behind him.

 

Oliver slowly turned to his boyfriend, disbelief colouring his tone when he asked, "What the hell was his problem?" He frowned at his boyfriend's shrug, confusion only increasing when he sputtered an excuse before hurrying after the other man.  

* * *

 

"What do I want?" Eric spat, shaking his head, "What a fucking moron." Squinting against the sunlight, Eric ran his free hand through his hair, craving a smoke. He really should be heading over to that university, but he'd also be an idiot driving off in a rage, especially with the ice covering the roads. He gave a mirthless laugh, "I didn't think I could be a bigger dumbass than I already am." His smile dropped, cursing softly when he searched his pockets for his pack of cigarettes.

He had just pulled one out, when he heard the door opening. He didn't bother looking behind him, listening to the snow crunch as he searched for his lighter. 

"Cartman, I..." 

_"What?"_   He snapped, spinning around. 

The look of shock on Kyle's face was quickly gone, soon replaced with a glare. "Don't talk to me like that, you asshole."

"Me?" Eric croaked, " _I'm_   the asshole?" Immediately his hands went out in front of him, catching what the Jew tossed. 

"Yes you are, I was just trying to be nice and return that." What anger he felt left him with a sigh, dissipating into the sky when he stared off into the area around them. The parking lot seemed quieter and colder than before, lonelier...

"Thanks," Eric mumbled, fixated on the dark green plastic that made up his lighter. Mutely he put the cigarette in between his lips, and cupped a hand over the end as he lit it. Inhaling deeply, he filled his lungs. Hands falling down, he tilted his head back and breathed out, eyes fluttering to a close. 

Seconds passed by, silence conquered only by the rush of cars speeding along the main road. Listlessly Kyle moved around, not sure if there was anything here for him but also not wanting to head back inside. Essentially he was stuck in limbo, a lost soul...

The snow he was stepping on was wetting his shoes, soaked fabric making his feet cold. And yet, he couldn't find it in him to leave. He crossed his arms over his chest, shivering when a breeze swept over the parking lot and slammed into his back. Wind tousling his locks, he glowered as it partially covered his vision. Briefly he made a mental note to contact his barber, before he spied a glance at Eric.

He had only just opened his eyes, expression almost sad as smoke encircled his head. The sight left a lump in Kyle's throat, with a strange feeling to reach out and touch him. Before he could contemplate what that meant, a low voice drew him from his thoughts.

"You better go now," Eric drawled, "You're going to get sick if you stay out any longer."

Kyle snorted at that. "I can handle a little cold."

"Right, 'cause you can handle a lot of things."

_What the fuck did he mean by that?_ "What did..."

Eric shook his head, like he was fed up with this situation. Maybe he was... "Whatever," he flicked his cigarette to the ground, "do what you want. I don't care." He stepped on it, before he crossed the lot to his car. While he fetched his keys from his pocket, he heard Kyle call out his name behind him. 

Frowning he unlocked the door, had only sat down on his seat when Kyle came running to his side. 

"Wait!"

Before he could close the door, Kyle was ripping it open, gripping the handle like his life depended on it. "For God's sake. _What?"_

"I... I needed to say something to you."

Eric cursed, making a point of turning the engine on and putting the heat on max. "Then speak. I don't have all fucking day to gossip."

"Look," Kyle sighed, "About that night..." He grimaced at the look the other was giving him, like he was crazy. "The party? Remember? You, you gave me a ride home...?" Eric started to tap an impatient tempo on the steering wheel.

"And your point is...?"

_This is it, you can do it._ Taking a few steadying breaths, Kyle finally pleaded "I need you to pretend like that kiss never happened."

"Kiss?" Eric blinked a couple of times, his surprise morphing into an expression that had Kyle releasing the handle and taking a step back. Humorlessly smirking, he said "Kiss, what kiss? You must have been imagining things, because darling, nothing happened."

Kyle knew he wanted this, for Eric to ignore what they shared that night. But while he watched Eric slam that door shut, and drive off, he felt a sickly emptiness. That where his chest was, there was a wound festering. He drew his gaze downwards, staring at his shoes. His feet were numb...

"Babe?!" He flinched, slow to make his way back. Oliver was standing by the door, he rose a hand up, showing off a white paper bag. "I bought you something in case you're hungry later."

"Thanks," Kyle mumbled, taking it. Oliver peered around him, obviously glad when he saw that Eric was nowhere to be found. 

"Are you okay? That guy didn't bother you?"

"No." At least not in a way Oliver had meant. Silently they walked over to their car, the small amount of cheerfulness they had arriving now gone altogether. 


	8. Flings Are For TV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Happy Fanfic Writer's Appreciation Day! I hope you all are well, and are having a fantastic week. xoxo  
> \- Claire(BookishTea)

As soon as Eric stepped outside, he let out a loud exhale. He stood in front of the entrance for a few moments, studying the evening sky before he jogged down the stone steps. The hours spent in his classes had gone by in a blur, the lectures a vague memory. He hadn't been paying attention, although he shrugged off the negative effect that had. It had been only introductory after all, he could afford that - if only for today.

However, that casualness couldn't be used on the reason for his lack of focus. Despite how many times he tried to ignore what happened earlier, he couldn't. In some small way, he felt like his defenses had momentarily fallen down, and Kyle took advantage of that. During that party, that old feeling came bubbling to the surface. That yearning... He had tried so hard to get rid of it, but of course, Kyle had to stir everything up again. 

"That little cunt," he shook his head, reaching into his jean's pocket for his car keys. And then that bastard had the nerve to reject him, like the kiss was his fault. _His_ fault!

He quickened his pace, scowling hard as he crossed the parking lot. He had barely stopped before his vehicle, thumb about to press on the unlock button, when he heard someone call out to him. Not in the mood for the scolding he was surely going to get, Eric yelled out, "Leave me alone!"

"Dude, c'mon! Don't be like that."

"Dude," Eric drew out with a snide tone, "why don't you fuck off?"

"Cartman." He rolled his eyes, pressing the button and opening the door. "Cartman." At the hand suddenly gripping his shoulder, he spun around.

" _What?!"_

The glare awaiting him, had Eric immediately looking away. The word sorry was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't get it out into the open. Kenny seemed to know what he wanted to say, but his grimace didn't lessen at the apologetic expression. "I know you're upset at something, but Cartman, I'm not a fucking doormat. You can't talk to me like that."

Eric sighed, mumbling, "I know. I know." His brows furrowed, investing entirely on the sight of the other students exiting the main building. "I'm..." He wet his lips, "I'm sorry." Gaze shifted slightly, he saw Kenny's marginally relax out of the corner of his eye. "Are we...?"

"Yeah," Kenny took a step back, "We're cool." Despite their mutual tempers cooling, there was a wary edge between them. Kenny was the first to conquer the rocky threshold, saying in a much lighter voice, "Do you want to grab a beer?" His friend's head turned to stare at him, disbelief plain.

"Are... are you serious?" A grin stretched across his face when Kenny nodded, mood considerably brightening. "Fuck yes, dude."

* * *

 

Half an hour later, and they found themselves in _The Highland Tavern_. It hadn't been hard getting in, he'd always had a knack for sweet talking people. And despite being under the legal drinking age, he'd managed to convince the staff to let them in. Wordlessly, he thanked whatever deity looking out over him for the deepness of his voice, and that he could easily pass for being a lot older than he actually was.

When he first decided to move here, he had made it a personal goal to visit this location. This place had great reviews, and the food... Eric moaned, the sound muffled by his burger. The delicious taste of the meat, cheddar cheese, crispy onions, and bacon oozed onto his taste buds, and his eyes fluttered shut. If this was all he had in life, he could die happy. As he chewed happily, his companion rolled his eyes.

With a shake of his head, Kenny took another sip of his beer. After a swig, his daze darted back to Eric, contemplating whether he should ask or not.

Noisily swallowing his food, Eric reached for his glassed draft. "Spit it out."

Kenny lowered his bottle, "What?"

Eric rolled his eyes, "I'm not stupid, you're dying to ask me something. Are you going to get on with it, or what?"

"I mean..." Kenny played with the glass in his hands, skating it along the wood of the table between them. "If you're okay with me asking you a question."

"Dude, I'm not a pussy. I can take it."

"If you insist... What's your deal?"

"Deal?" Eric snorted, "Do you mean aside from my fucked up childhood, and my insecurities?"

"I..." Kenny sighed, "Kyle. What's your deal with him?" He rose a brow when his friend's face scrunched up.

"That's... It's nothing new."

"Noth- Cartman." He leaned forward. "I know you guys have... Issues." He ignored his friend's mumbled, "That's putting it lightly." Huffing he moved in even closer, "This... Whatever _this_ is, it isn't like before."

"Yeah, okay."

"Cartman, I'm being serious. You guys are acting weird, and I want to know why." Kenny frowned when Eric looked away, slumping in his seat. Ears strained, he listened to Eric mumble under his breath.

"Why don't you just ask him?"

"Because," Kenny stressed, "I want your version too."

Softly Eric whispered, "My version?" Angrily, he shook his head, "There's nothing to tell. Nothing happened. Ask Kyle, he'll say the same thing." He didn't need to look up to know Kenny was glaring at him, the denial obvious.

"That is such a crock of shit, and you know it."

Eric rested his head on his knuckles, "Whatever. It doesn't matter anyways."

Kenny regarded him for a minute before he said, "Did Kyle say that it didn't matter?" By the tightening muscles in Eric's jaw, he knew he struck a nerve. All at once he wished he could take it back, but even with the apology a second from being uttered, he watched helplessly as Eric suddenly stood up.

"I'm going for a smoke."

"C-Cart-" Mouth agape, Kenny could only merely watch as his friend left him alone. 

* * *

 

By the time he stepped outside, already he had a cigarette in his mouth. Hand reaching into his jacket's pocket, he had just touched his lighter when a flame was suddenly in front of him. Blinking, Eric leaned his head forward, accepting the light. Taking a deep inhale, he released a "Thanks" on a cloud of smoke. Lowering his cigarette, he squinted at his unexpected company. "Do I know you?"

"Yes- er, kind of." The other man cleared his throat, suddenly flushed face taking Eric aback. "We met recently. At a party?"

"Right... Uh..."

"Alex."

"I knew that." He shook his head. "So, Alex. What are you doing in a place like this?"

Alex fumbled with his lighter, returning it to his pocket. "I was in the area, and I well... I happened to see you, so I thought why not say hi. Are... are you okay with that?"

Eric rose a brow, finally taking the time to fully look the other guy over. A grin slowly stretched across his face; dropping his voice to a whispered purr, he said, "Trust me. I'm more than happy about it." He was delighted by Alex's sputtering, the redness to his cheeks.

* * *

 

He was acting like a baby, there was nothing to be afraid of. For God's sake, they were childhood friends! Sure, they didn't talk as much as they used to, but that was it. Certainly there wasn't a real reason to be scared. Still... Kyle hesitated, staring at the contact image on his laptop's screen. "C'mon, you can do this." Groaning aloud, Kyle screwed his eyes shut and hit call.

After a little while, the screen filled with a friendly face. "Hey, man! What's up?"

"Hey..." All of that stress evaporated away. "How's the Show-Me-State?" He leaned back in his chair, watching Stan shrug, still rubbing the side of his head with a towel.

"Missouri is good - different, but good."

"And how's that?"

Stan looked off into the distance, letting his towel fall into his lap. "Well... It's rich with history, and the land is different. It's mostly grassy plains, and forests. And I guess the people, it's not like when we lived in South Park. Everyone knew everyone else's business, that doesn't happen in St. Louis."

Kyle hummed, "Are you coming back during the break?"

"Maybe. I'll have to see."

"Oh..." He knew he shouldn't be feeling like this, Stan was working so hard to achieve his dreams - and truly he was supportive of that, but... He also missed his best friend. Talking over skype was fine, but it had nothing on talking in person. He felt worse when Stan noticed how miserable he was, hurriedly trying to cheer him up.

"Don't worry, I'm still coming over during the holidays. Not even all of the gooey butter cake in the world could keep me away." Kyle snorted. "But in all seriousness, it's great talking to you, man. I know university has been hard, have you been keeping sane?"

"I've been trying."

"That's good to hear. But, dude. You've been getting out of the house, right?"

Kyle rolled his eyes, "God, you sound like my mom. And yes, for your information, I have been."

"Ouch. No need to get mean. I'm glad, you deserve getting out and having fun. What did you do?"

Chewing on his bottom lip, Kyle was slow to say. Something that Stan had picked up on, according to his slight frown. "I went to a party, I hung out with Kenny."

"That's cool." Despite his words, there was a question in his voice. A wordless, but...?

"And..." Kyle cleared his throat, "I saw Cartman too." He winced as the feed was cut through, video lagging as Stan sat up straight. 

There was a bit of interference as Stan exclaimed, "What?! As in Cartman... _Our_ Cartman?" Reluctantly Kyle nodded. "What happened? Did you guys fight? I know he was pissed off that you left without saying anything."

"Um..."

* * *

 

They stumbled inside, the door scarcely closing behind them. "Fuck," Eric grunted, blindly steering them towards the bedroom. For all of his innocent act, Alex was sure making it hard to focus right now. He was currently marking up what he could reach, sucking hard on the side of Eric's throat. Already he was working on Eric's belt, managing to get it undone by the time they got to the bedroom.

Eric didn't have much for furniture set up, but Alex didn't seem to care about the starkness of his bedroom. When they pulled, needing air, Alex took in their surroundings. He eyed the boxes stacked everywhere, and the barely set up bed. When he looked back, he tugged Eric to the mattress. Together they fell down, limbs tangled, and breathing each other in.

Grunting, Eric tilted Alex's head up, away from his neck so he could kiss him senseless. Everything melted away, the pain and anger. The temperature rising, Eric had moved far back enough that he could shed out of his clothes, tossing his shirt and jeans to the floor. He had just sat back down on the bed, when already Alex was shoving him so he'd lay down.

"Shit," he hissed, reaching up to thread his fingers through Alex's hair as his boxers were pulled down. Head dropping down to his pillows, his eyes shut as he felt the other's hand begin to stroke him to a full erection. Opening one eye, Eric peered down. 

Alex was trying his best, finally bobbing his head up and down. By all accounts it wasn't the worst blowjob he'd had, it was okay... But just 'okay' was never sexy. Not one to nag when some guy was sucking his dick, wordlessly Eric pulled him off, taking matters into his own hands.

After getting the other undressed and stretched out with the lube he fetched from the bathroom, Eric only let out a sigh of relief when he slid in. When he began to thrust, his eyes squeezed shut, hot exhales puffing onto him. Listening to the moans filling his ears, the fucked up part of his brain began to spin this turn of events around.

Below him, he imagined it wasn't his random hook-up, but Kyle instead. 

"Fuck." He shuddered, feeling his childhood friend/enemy's fingernails scratching the skin of his back. He could see it so clearly in his mind's eye, Kyle panting underneath him, moaning. Moaning for him... _God._ He hooked Kyle's legs over his hips, grinding down.

His name, a whispered chant, was the undoing of him. The arms bracing him above Kyle began to shake, a moan finally tore itself from his lips. "Shit," he hissed, "Kyle, you feel so good."

" _What?"_

The fantasy popped. Eric's eyes snapped open, unsure what was happening as felt two hands grip his shoulders. He pulled back a little, cold sweat running down his spine as he stared at Alex. There was a look of confusion, and worse yet, betrayal. "Who... Who the fuck is Kyle?"

He wet his lips, mouth suddenly feeling dry. "Alex. I said Alex." The lie he had tried to pass off, quickly fell flat between them. At that point, he knew he fucked up. At the angry shove, he hurriedly pulled out, leaning back on his legs as his company sat up.

"You asshole, you've totally been thinking of someone else the whole time."

"No I-" Alex shot him a look of disgust, slipping out of the bed, and scooping his clothes up from the floor. "You're disgusting, you know that? Fucking disgusting."

"Babe-"

"Don't."

Silenced by a glare, Eric merely watched as Alex got dressed and left with his things. Sighing, he followed him out to the front door. While Alex struggled to get his shoes on, he leaned against the entrance's frame. "Well, it was nice meeting you." He gave a little wave, wincing as the door was slammed shut. He stood there for a few seconds, attention dropping to his still hard dick. "This is all your fault."


	9. Fuck This Shit

It was a week until they saw each other again, and trust me, both wanted that time to be longer - much longer. Kyle pushed the door open with his side, adjusting the stack of books in his hands. This semester had barely started, and already it was kicking his ass. Or maybe that was the stress in his life; either way, Oliver was definitely not helping. Kyle shook his head, heading to his usual spot to work on his notes...

He came to a halt, dumbfounded by the person sitting next to his usual chair. Hurriedly he turned around, wanting to leave, but his stubbornness reared its ugly head. This, after all, was _his_ spot. Why should he leave, just because Eric Cartman was sitting next to it? With a deep inhale, Kyle spun around, and stomped his way over.

Huffing loudly, he dropped his things onto the table, and yanked the chair back and sat down. Flippantly, he opened one of his textbooks, pretending to read as he peered out of the corner of his eye - trying to gauge if Eric was looking at him. He wasn't. He hadn't even spared him a glance, for all Eric cared, he didn't exist.  But why did the idea of that hurt? Kyle shifted his weight, trying to remain calm. His back stiffened when he heard Eric sigh. It wasn't much a sound, a quiet thing really, but in the quietness of the study room, it was like a shout.

"What's your deal?"

It took Kyle a second to realize he was being talked to. Blinking in surprise, Kyle turned slightly in his seat, mumbling "What?"

Eric rolled his eyes, still not bothering to look at him as he slipped an earbud out. "You were staring at me."

"I was not!"

He snapped his head to the side, scowling hard until Kyle winced. "Yes," he hissed, "you were." They were locked in a match, until finally, Kyle broke away to glare at his books.

"Okay, so what if I was. It isn't like it's a big deal."

Eric sniffed, "Because there's nothing wrong with being creepy?" 

"I wasn't being creepy!"

"Right, and I'm not a fat piece of shit."

Whatever retort Kyle was ready with, it was immediately gone from his mind. He glanced away, wetting his lips as he turned back. "Do..." He took a breath. "Do you really think that?"

Finally, Eric looked at him. "Isn't that what you think?"

"I..." He broke off, not sure how to respond. How could he? The hand gripping his textbook's paper, crumpled it. Whatever expression he must have had, Eric seemed to get his answer. He slid his gaze from Kyle, returning it to his lecture notes. 

In this uncomfortable silence, Kyle studied Eric, his question ringing in his ears. _Isn't that what you think? Isn't that what you think? Isn't that what-_

Kyle tore away, lowering his eyes to his hands and the whiteness of his knuckles. _Did he think that?_ As a kid, maybe the answer would have come more easily. But now that they were older... He could still feel Eric's touch, his breath fanning across his face. Kyle spied him another glance. 

When had this happened? When did he start to think Eric Cartman was cute? His brows furrowed. Maybe it was because there was a comfort in familiar things? 

He soaked in the other's appearance, the confidence he held which was so damn appealing. It wasn't like Eric was the most attractive guy he'd met. If compared, most would say Oliver was more conventionally handsome. He was more put together, unlike Eric, who hadn't bothered brushing his hair this morning. Who looked like he slept in his clothes, jeans and a flannel shirt. But then why did Kyle feel this gravity pulling him towards the brunette? Why did it have to be _him?_

Kyle chewed on his bottom lip, almost wanting to ask the question aloud. He moved his gaze from the other's face, dropping it to trail down his jaw, to his... He squinted, not sure if the light in here was playing tricks. He hadn't even realized it, but he leaned forward, staring at the hickeys on Eric's neck.

Sure, they kissed, but Kyle was certain he never latched onto Eric's throat. And even if he had, it wouldn't be that fresh. All at once, he was shocked by the feeling of anger crashing into him. He knew it wasn't fair to be acting like this, it wasn't his place to get mad if Eric was hooking up with someone. But it still hurt that he'd do it so soon after they... they...

"Kyle." He broke away. "You're doing it again." Feeling his face burn, hurriedly Kyle stood up. The sound of his chair scraping against the floor had Eric looking up in shock, confused as he watched Kyle quickly pick up his things. "Hey, dude. What's wrong? Kyle?" He reached out, grabbing the other's sleeve. 

Kyle ripped himself free from the grip, whirling towards Eric to hiss, "Don't touch me." He paused, lingering on the baffled furrow of Eric's brows. He was caught between wanting to either kiss or punch Eric. His breath left him in a gush of a sigh, "please" he whispered. 

 

He nearly fell on his ass multiple times, trying to get to his car in the parking lot. Those moments only added to the frustration he was dealing with. Currently he was unlocking his door, when he heard laboured breathing near him. He didn't want to believe in its existence, but when the hand that landed on his shoulder spun him around, he knew he didn't have a choice. 

"What," Eric panted, "what the fuck are you doing?"

Kyle brushed the hand off of him, "I'm doing nothing. You're the one who followed me outside."

"Yeah, after you had a hissy fit!"

"I didn't-" Kyle took in a deep breath. Calmer this time, he ground out, "I didn't have a 'hissy fit'. I just want to go home."

Eric shook his head, taking a step forward. "Kyle, what the fuck is wrong?"

"Noth-"

"That's bullshit and you know it. Tell me, why you're acting like this."

"Why do you even care? Why don't you run off to your partner or whoever it is you're screwing around with." Both of Eric's eyebrows shot up.

"Partner?" He mumbled, gingerly touched his neck. "Who said I was dating anyone? And better yet, why do you care?"

He had him there. Kyle huffed, "I don't." His mood worsened as he watched a disbelieving smile stretch across Eric's face. 

"Kyle," Eric breathed out, "are you... jealous?"

Everything froze, the breeze seemed all the more colder now. "Jealous?" Kyle mumbled to himself, like he didn't know the word - didn't know what Eric was getting at.

"You totally are." Eric walked up to him, until Kyle's back was hitting the car. His hands, that had been hanging limply by his sides, now curled up into fists. He was transfixed when the other leaned down, shivering at the warmth of his presence- the scent. It reminded him so much of home, something that he could easily burrow himself in, and never want to leave. Kyle began to tremble, fighting a bewildering onslaught of emotions. 

"I'm not," he whispered, darting a glance at Eric's lips. He knew when he looked back up, that Eric had seen him do it. Chest squeezing, he watched as Eric's smile falter, and the brunette suddenly pull away. Immediately he missed the other's nearness, the warmth that had been present. He forced his hands to relax, to pull on the car handle, and to climb in his car. 

His things were tossed into the back seat. Finally settled, he reached for the seat belt, pausing as he heard the snow crunch. At that moment, Kyle wanted to look out his window, to watch as Eric walked away. But for whatever reason he couldn't, couldn't muster enough courage to do so. After a few minutes, when he was sure Eric was gone, Kyle sagged.

"What am I doing?" Truthfully, he didn't know the answer. He had, after all, caused this situation. He kissed Cartman first, had enjoyed doing it. But then why couldn't he let go, couldn't let Eric slip through his fingers? Was he being selfish?

Kyle slipped his seat belt on, frowning at the "yes" that wanted to spring free from his lips. He clicked it into place. Loudly he sighed, "What's wrong with me?"


	10. Clouded Over

He was grinding his teeth, glaring at the man just a few feet away from him. It was in his best interest to leave this conversation, to never look back. But when Eric addressed him, Kyle's treacherous heart gave another flutter.

"Kyle," Eric breathed out, "are you... jealous?"

Everything froze, the breeze seemed all the more colder now. "Jealous?" Kyle mumbled to himself, like he didn't know the word - didn't know what Eric was getting at.

"You totally are." Eric walked up to him, until Kyle's back was hitting the car. His hands, curled into fists for a second, before he forced them to relax. With Eric's warm breath fanning across his face, Kyle made up his mind. Moving to the hammering in his ears, he reached up, hand lightly landing on Eric's throat. There was barely any pressure behind it, as he feared with the smallest amounts Eric would pull away.

Thankfully, the brunette didn't. No, he seemed interested as Kyle warily moved his hand up to cup the side of Eric's jaw. Ever so gently, Kyle tilted his head before he leaned in.

Just before they kissed, Kyle was worried he'd regret this. That this was a mistake, and everything he worked hard for these past years would be for nothing - but then their lips met, and Kyle didn't think of much anything else. It all... everything just _clicked._

Eric's sneaky fingers had travelled under his shirt, spreading across his stomach like he wanted to map everything out. Wanted to stake claim to the bumps that were his hipbones, to climb under his skin. And honestly, if Eric asked, Kyle would let him. He groaned, as much as from the weight the brunette was pressing into him, as he was from the tongue gliding against his. 

He tore his mouth away, sucking in the chilled air. That didn't seem to bother Eric, he soon moved on to kissing the corner of Kyle's lips, and on his right cheekbone. The startling affectionate action had Kyle's eyelids fluttering, an easy smile worming its way across his face. He snorted, feeling the other's smirk, and the fingernails lightly scratching his skin - just enough so he hunched forward, goosebumps rising.

"You asshole," he mumbled, far more happy than he ought to be.

Eric laughed, moving his mouth so he could mumble into Kyle's ear. "Maybe. But not as much as you are."

Kyle's brows furrowed, confused despite the desire knotting his stomach. "What are..." He wet his lips, "What are you talking about?" Just as he placed a hand on Eric's chest, moving him slightly back, he blinked.

He was staring at his ceiling, the whiteness of it having Kyle immediately shutting his eyes. It did little to alleviate his migraine, and better yet, his guilt. "Fuck," Kyle grunted, sitting up in the bed. Of course, it was empty. He pushed his hair back, dropping his gaze downwards, specifically at the morning wood he had. 

"Fantastic..."

* * *

 

That jerk's spirit seemed to be following him around, even after Kyle had a cold shower. He had tried to scrub the dream version of the brunette's touch from his skin, but even afterwards, he thought of it. He'd been filling the coffee pot with water - something that Oliver had forgotten to do. But that was fine, everything was _fine._

He didn't know why it happened, just one minute he was using water from the faucet to fill the tub, when he felt someone leaning into him. Of course, he was only daydreaming. But he didn't care, not when Eric's hands slid from his shoulders to his hips, tugging him, so he'd be closer. The sound of rushing of water disappeared, the mundane noise of his day was gone. All that mattered now, was the phantom breath spreading across the back of his neck.

Kyle sighed, encouraging his imagination to pull more fragments of Eric from his memories. When they were kids, the times Eric would crowd his personal space. At the time he knew it was just to annoy him, to push his buttons. But now, he thought of it as a security blanket, bringing a warmth that eased the tension to his shoulders and h-

His eyes snapped open. "Shit!" Hurriedly he turned the water off, stepping out of the puddle on the floor to put the tub on a counter. Not only were his socks soaked, but he managed to get the front of his shirt wet. "Great," he shook his head, frustration making his voice sharp. "That's just lovely!"

* * *

 

"I know what you're doing."

Kenny froze, still hunched over. He waited a second, before he shrugged his shoulders, and took the carton of cream from the fridge. He let the door's momentum do its work, and close behind him. "And what's that?"

Eric lifted his head, glaring up from his makeshift dining set, a large sealed box for a table and some lawn chairs he 'borrowed'. Today, his friend - current pain in his ass, had been nice enough to bring breakfast to his apartment. A box of doughnuts, and some cups of coffee. "Uh, fishing for information? You aren't exactly discrete." He watched as his friend plopped down in the chair beside him, grunting.

"Did I ever say I was trying to be?" He rose a brow when Eric turned away, rolling his eyes when the brunette huffed. "C'mon, dude. Stop acting like a baby, and tell me what's up. I thought I left South Park and its drama behind, but apparently not."

After a few, rather tense seconds, finally Eric looked at him. "I don't want to be mean, Kenny..."

"But...?"

Eric dropped his gaze, leaning forward to rummage through the box for another doughnut. While he was doing that, Kenny sighed softly, and took the lid off of his styrofoam cup, adding more cream to his coffee. By the time he was sipping it, and Eric was licking chocolate icing from his fingers, the brunette mumbled "But, it's none of your fucking business."

Truthfully, he had him there. It was a topic that Kenny shouldn't be intruding on, strictly it was Cartman and Kyle's beef alone - and there wasn't anything uncommon with that, but... He may be sticking his nose into where it didn't belong, but he wanted their friendship to mend. For once, he wanted them to actually talk about their differences, and maybe they could finally resolve them - but that's just wishful thinking, isn't it?

"I know, but... Look, I don't like seeing you upset about something, and not talking about it. Okay?" He shifted his gaze away, knowing by the energy in the air, that Cartman was going through some inner turmoil. 

Eric wordlessly lifted a doughnut to his mouth, the taste lost to him as he chewed. After he noisily swallowed it down, he said, "We kissed." He said it so casually, that for a second, Kenny thought he misheard him.

"And who's that?" The immediate thought, was that Eric meant that guy from before. That was the only logical reason, but quickly, Cartman toppled that all down.

"...Kyle and I, we kissed."

Kenny took a spit take, managing to spray them both with coffee. He ignored Eric's cursing, and sputtered out, "You did _what?!"_

"Ken', you fucking moron... We kissed! It's not that hard of a concept. God, look what you did, it's everywhere!"

Hastily Kenny wiped his dripping chin with the back of his hand, "You kissed Kyle, as in Kyle Broflovski. _Our_ Kyle."

"I already said his name, do we really have to do this bit? I mean, I wasn't even supposed to tell you to begin with!"

"You're..." Pointedly Kenny placed his mug down before he tried again. "Hold on, you guys kissed, and you weren't even allowed to tell me?!"

"Dude, you're taking it too personal."

"Well, how am I supposed to be taking it?!"

Eric scrubbed at his face, wishing the floor would just give in and he could plummet to his death. "Look, it wasn't even my rule to begin with. If you any problems with it, complain to Kyle. Wait, scratch that, don't do that."

"I can't believe this."

He snorted, lazily moving his gaze away. "You, and me both." At that moment, Kenny straightened.

"Wait, but I thought Kyle was dating Oliver...?" Kenny must have saw something in his face, as he sucked in a breath, wincing. "Oh dude..."

Eric's quickly looked back at him, snapping "What?!"

"You're totally the 'other man'. That's not cool."

"I don't care if you think it's cool or not, especially Mr. Perfect. And besides! It wasn't my fault to begin with. The Jew kissed _me_." Snatching a napkin from the top of the table/box, Eric angrily wiped his hands before he stood up. 

His best friend leaned back, watching as he grabbed his packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He studied him for a few seconds, before he said slowly. "You're trying to tell me, that he kissed you, and not the other way around?"

Eric lit his cigarette, and took in a deep drag. While smoke was slipping from his lips, he crossed the living room and into the joined kitchen to open a window. Tapping ash into the sink, he turned around, lounging against a counter. "Why does it matter? I'm just a homewrecker, yeah?"

"But..." Kenny shook his head. "That doesn't sound like Kyle, I mean, the whole cheating thing."

"Yeah, well, maybe Broflovski isn't the saint you think he is..." Eric gradually lost focus, the memory of his childhood enemy's touch still haunted him. It was depressing how often he thought of it, how much he craved it. Eric sighed. Even if he wanted that to happen again, Kyle had made himself painfully clear. But why did he have such a hard time letting that go?

"I know you guys have this whole..." Kenny made an obscure gesture. "Sexual tension thing going on, but even then, Kyle just wouldn't kiss you while he was dating someone. Something must be going on."

"What? Like Oliver is beating him up?" Eric rolled his eyes, thinking back to all the bruises and wounds the Jew gave him. If anyone were to not put up with bullshit, it would be Kyle.

"No, but... Maybe he's unhappy?"

He snorted, mumbling "Join the fucking club."

"Cartman, listen-"

"No!" Eric flicked the remains of his cigarette into the sink. "Dude, people can be assholes without you making excuses for them. Kyle did a shitty thing by kissing me, okay? Like sure, maybe he's even more fucked up in the head by doing that... Choosing _me_ out of everyone in the whole fucking world to make out with. Whatever. That's his problem, not yours." As soon as the words left his mouth, Eric cringed, tearing his gaze away.

He could still feel Kenny's eyes on him, the concern thick in the air. Clearing his throat, Eric turned around to stare out the window. The skies were grey and clouded over, it looked like they were going to get freezing rain today.


	11. Incoming Call

_Hours later_

 

Kyle adjusted the strap of his bag, while also trying not to drop the textbooks weighing his arms down. He had just finished his sociology class on Discipline and Punishment, and needed to get to the other side of the building for Law, when his name was called out. Confused, and slightly annoyed by the distraction, he slowed down, and tossed a glance over his shoulder.

Hand raised to catch his attention, Kenny jogged up to him, weaving through the busy corridor. When he caught up to him, Kyle mumbled a surprised, "Hey?"

"Hey," Kenny said back, grinning. "I know you're busy," he gestured to Kyle's textbooks, "but can I have, like, a minute of your time?"

"Um..." Kyle shifted his weight. "Can we do this later?" After a second, with studying the expression on Kenny's face, Kyle let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine." Rolling his eyes at the clasp on his shoulder, and the excited smile directed at, Kyle allowed his friend to usher him into a quieter hallway. "So," he said softly, "what's this all about?" His apprehension arose when Kenny's happiness dipped, and in its place was a carefulness; he didn't like it - no, not one bit. " _What?"_

"Look, I know you're busy and everything, but..."

"But...?"

"Are you free on the weekend?"

Kyle's brows knitted together. "This weekend...? Yeah, I guess, but..."  _Why was Kenny so worried?_ Surely, it wasn't that big of a deal. No, something was off here. He just didn't know what. "What exactly were you planning?"

The young man across from him, shrugged, expression easy going, "I haven't thought of it that much." For some reason, Kyle didn't fully believe him. There was a slight tension that had him on guard, that there was something before him, but he couldn't figure it out. 

"You hadn't?"

"Well..." Kenny slid his gaze to the end of the hallway, momentarily distracted. Kyle squinted. Or stalling for time... Eventually, he started again. "Maybe a little. Dude, just trust me, okay? I'll text you the address."

"Okay..." Truthfully, Kyle didn't like this. Not at all. 

* * *

 

_Later that night_

 

With a grunt, he plopped onto his chair, spinning it around. Starting his laptop up, Kyle absently drummed his fingers on the wood of the desk. Once more it was only him tonight, Oliver was out with his friends, having a study session. And no matter how much he hated to admit it, Kyle was craving some human contact. Resting his head on his knuckles, he stifled a yawn as he clicked on Skype. While the program loaded, he lifted his gaze upwards, staring out of a window.

The streets were empty, no one wanted to go out in that temperature, and at this time of night. He didn't blame them. Yes, he lived in a good, quiet neighbourhood, but outside couldn't compare to the comfort of his bedroom. Although, these walls were of much of a protection, as they were a cage. Kyle grimaced. At the sound of a notification, he dropped his gaze, clicking through his contacts until he found the one he wanted. 

Thankfully, it was only a couple of rings until his call was accepted. The familiar face that filled his screen, grinned. "Hey!"

"Hey," he mumbled back. 

"I didn't expect to talk to you so soon again."

"Oh, sorry. Are you busy?"

The grainy image of Stan lagged as he shook his head, quick to protest, "No! It's always good speaking to you, dude. But Kyle..." Stan frowned, leaning forward. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..." Kyle paused. If he couldn't be honest with Stan, then who could he be? Grimacing, he leaned back in his seat, the leather of it cracking as he admitted, "No." A small amount of weight lifted from his shoulder. It felt good saying that, making it known that his life wasn't perfect. For the longest time he lied, not only to his family and friends, but to himself about that.

"Hold on." Stan moved to the side, partially out of view. When he came back, he was unraveling a knotted mess. With a slightly vexed laugh, Kyle realized it was his earphones. After it was untangled, and he slipped the buds into his ears, he asked "What's going on?"

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?"

"Oliver..." Kyle winced. "He's not hurting you is he?" Clearly, his best friend was taken aback by his sudden bark of laughter. It took a couple of seconds until Kyle could quiet down.

"No," he shook his head. For once, glad that Oliver was away. " _God, no_..." 

"If it's not that, then why are you stressed out?" Stan leaned forward until his face was an inch away from the screen. "Don't tell me Cartman is still being a dick to you?"

Kyle laughed mirthlessly. "When isn't he being a dick?" He hoped that even through the shitty quality of their call, Stan didn't realize how nervous he had become. Even with the brunette being mentioned, his stomach painfully knotted.

"You got a point there." With Stan moving back, he figured he hadn't. 

"No, but really. I think I need your advice."

"My advice?" Stan rose a brow. "Really?"

"Yes," he rolled his eyes, "really."

"Okay, well... Pretend I'm bald, and tell me all of your problems." 

"You're... _What?"_

"Obviously I was referring to Dr. Phil."

"Oh..."

"Forget it, it's not important now. What's been eating you?"

This is it. Around this time Kyle knew he had to tread carefully. "Do..." _Fuck._ How was he going to phrase this? "Have you ever... Are you a bad person for falling out of love?" He might have thought the video was frozen, if it weren't for Stan blinking dumbly.

It seemed to be forever until Stan finally spoke, needing to clear his throat before he started. "No, but... Does Oliver know how you feel?"

Kyle shrugged. "I don't know, we aren't really talking..."

"Maybe that's the issue. You guys should sit down together, and hash things out."

"Yeah, okay..."

* * *

 

For once, Kyle really regretted not taking Stan's advice. It was two days later, and he hadn't said anything to Oliver. They didn't 'hash things out'. No, he pushed it aside. Thinking, screw it, tomorrow me will deal with it. 

When Kenny sent him a message that day about showing up at the texted address around 9 pm, he didn't think much of it. Why would he? Wearing a simple pair of jeans, and a sweater, Kyle felt vastly under-dressed when he arrived. 

Following his friend's directions, he was led from the street and to what appeared to be an abandoned building. Through the vandalized side metal door, he was surprised by how nicer everything looked inside. Instead of some junkie den, it looked to be an underground bar.

Squeezing through narrow, confusing corridors, filled with wandering people - most drunk, or at least high, Kyle was relieved when the space opened up to a large room.

"Moses," he hissed under his breath, "what are you doing to me, Ken'?"

He got his answer soon enough. To the side of the room, away from the stage hooked up with a variety of instruments, was Eric Cartman. Loudly, Kyle cursed, taking a step backwards bef- Shit! He saw him.

Glancing up from his cell phone, and bathed in the neon colours of the lighting, Cartman rose a brow.

At that point, only one thing ran through Kyle's mind. _Fuck me._


End file.
